The holiday season is often a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for many, it also stirs up a mix of emotions, bringing an unexpected sense of regression—almost as if we are transported back to childhood. This phenomenon, known as holiday regression, is more common than we realize and can leave us feeling nostalgic, vulnerable, or even unsettled.
Instead of resisting these feelings, we can view them as an opportunity for self-reflection, healing, and reconnecting with our inner child.
What is Holiday Regression?
Holiday regression occurs when returning home for the holidays triggers childlike behaviors, emotions, and thought patterns. Familiar sights, sounds, and smells—like the scent of your childhood home, traditional holiday meals, or old family traditions—can transport you back to a time when life felt simpler and more carefree.
It’s natural to slip into old routines, seek comfort in familiar places, or even notice yourself responding to family dynamics in ways you thought you had outgrown. While this can be a heartwarming experience, it can also bring up unresolved emotions or conflicts, making you feel as though you’re reliving moments from the past.
Why Does Holiday Regression Happen?
There are several psychological reasons why we experience holiday regression:
- Nostalgia & Memory Triggers: Returning to a childhood environment activates deeply ingrained memories, making past emotions feel present again.
- Familial Roles & Dynamics: Family members often revert to old patterns, unconsciously assigning you the same role you had growing up—whether that’s the responsible one, the peacekeeper, or the rebellious one.
- Emotional Safety (or Lack Thereof): Being home can either bring a sense of comfort and safety or trigger unresolved wounds, depending on your past experiences.
- Expectation vs. Reality: The holidays are often idealized, and when reality doesn’t match the nostalgia, it can create feelings of disappointment or unease.
While this regression may feel unsettling at times, it doesn’t have to be a setback. Instead, it can be a meaningful opportunity for growth, self-awareness, and healing.
How to Navigate Holiday Regression with Intention
Rather than feeling overwhelmed by these emotions, try using them as a tool for self-discovery. Here are some ways to navigate holiday regression in a way that honors both your past and present self:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
Instead of dismissing or suppressing your emotions, allow yourself to fully experience them. Whether you feel joy, sadness, nostalgia, or frustration, recognize that these feelings are valid. Regression is a natural response to returning to familiar environments, and there’s nothing wrong with feeling a mix of emotions during the holidays.
2. Reflect on Your Childhood & Personal Growth
Take time to reflect on the experiences that shaped you into the person you are today. Ask yourself:
- What fond memories do I have from my childhood?
- Are there any unresolved emotions or wounds that still linger?
- How have I changed since then?
Recognizing both the positive and challenging aspects of your past can help you process any lingering emotions and appreciate your personal growth.
3. Reconnect with Your Inner Child
Embracing holiday regression doesn’t have to feel like a burden—it can also be an opportunity to reconnect with your younger self in a joyful way. Engage in childhood activities that bring you happiness, such as:
- Baking cookies or making a favorite childhood treat
- Watching classic holiday movies from your youth
- Playing board games or revisiting childhood traditions
- Spending time outdoors in a way that makes you feel carefree
Allow yourself to indulge in these small moments of joy without judgment.
4. Set Boundaries When Needed
While reconnecting with family can be meaningful, it’s also important to protect your emotional well-being. If certain conversations or dynamics trigger negative emotions, give yourself permission to set boundaries. This could mean:
- Limiting time spent in emotionally draining situations
- Politely excusing yourself from conversations that bring up past wounds
- Reframing conversations toward more positive and present-moment topics
Boundaries are not about shutting people out but about ensuring that you engage with them in a way that feels safe and supportive.
5. Practice Self-Care & Grounding Techniques
The holidays can be overwhelming, so prioritizing self-care is essential. Find ways to stay grounded, such as:
- Taking a walk alone to clear your mind
- Journaling about your emotions and experiences
- Practicing mindfulness, meditation, or deep breathing exercises
- Engaging in activities that make you feel like your present-day self, whether that’s listening to music, exercising, or spending time with friends outside of family gatherings
Taking care of your emotional and mental well-being allows you to enjoy the holidays in a more balanced and fulfilling way.
Holiday regression is a natural and common experience, and instead of resisting it, we can embrace it as an opportunity for growth. By acknowledging our emotions, reflecting on our past, and setting healthy boundaries, we can navigate the holiday season with authenticity and self-awareness. Growth isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about integrating it in a way that empowers you in the present.