As I sit down to reflect on my experiences, I realize that one of the most powerful forces that has influenced my relationships and life choices is predictive assumptions. You know, those sneaky, unconscious expectations we project onto situations or people, based on past experiences, fears, or insecurities. It’s something I’ve been trying to untangle for a while now, especially as I navigate my personal relationships and career.
The thing with predictive assumptions is that they often come from a place of protection. They’ve been a defense mechanism, almost like an emotional buffer. I’d assume the worst in a situation, so I wouldn’t be caught off guard. But instead of protecting me, they’ve often made things worse – fueling my doubts and triggering feelings of fear or rejection before anything even happens. Take my romantic relationships, for example. I tend to brace myself for the moment something goes wrong, even when everything is going right. This mindset is exhausting, and it clouds my ability to truly enjoy the present moment. It’s a weird feeling – this need to protect yourself from things that aren’t even real. In fact, they may never happen at all. But that’s the trap of predictive assumptions. They feel like a certainty, even when they’re not. I’ve also noticed this pattern in my career. Anytime I hit a rough patch, my mind jumps to worst-case scenarios. I start assuming that things will only get harder, or that I’ll fail, even though I’ve had plenty of successes. It’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy: because I expect failure, I approach situations with less confidence, which can sometimes make the challenges feel even bigger than they are.
But here’s what I’ve been working on – catching myself in these moments of assumption. When I feel the spiral starting, I try to pause and ask myself, “Is this assumption based on facts or just fear?” Sometimes, it’s obvious that I’m projecting past experiences onto the present. Other times, it’s harder to distinguish, and that’s where the real work begins. Learning to communicate instead of assuming has been a huge breakthrough. Instead of retreating into my fears or assumptions about what someone else is thinking or feeling, I’m trying to ask. It’s uncomfortable, but it has saved me from spiraling into unnecessary arguments or resentment. It’s still a work in progress, but every small step feels like a victory.
As I move forward, I remind myself that assumptions are just that – assumptions. They aren’t reality, and they don’t need to control my life. By letting go of the need to predict every outcome, I’m finding more space for joy, connection, and growth. It’s about trusting the process, even when I don’t know the answers, and allowing myself to be present in the uncertainty.
In a world where it’s easy to feel the need to prepare for every possible scenario, it’s liberating to remind myself that I don’t have to have it all figured out. The more I release these predictive assumptions, the more I discover my true self, free from the heavy weight of expectation.
It’s not easy to unlearn years of ingrained habits, but it’s worth it. And I think, as I continue to break the cycle, I’ll find that the world isn’t as scary as I once thought. The beauty of this journey is that I’m learning to trust – not just others, but myself. And that’s a freedom I never expected to find.