I am plagued with the ‘positive vibes only’ statement. I see it all around me as if, by default, human beings are wired to believe, think, feel, and act in a manner consistent with that notion, despite the myriad of complexities that human thought and emotions have. Not conforming to these insanely high standards must mean that there is something inherently wrong with you. Since human beings are social creatures that require human contact (for the most part) and to be part of a community (since, on an evolutionary level, human beings used to direct the community to secure their survival), there is a fear of ostracization if we fail to live up to those standards. If we feel/are excluded from a social group/community, our sense of survival is affected. Now, I understand that this is an unconscious, outdated notion since no predatory, animalistic threats have been experienced since the Neanderthal era (if you believe in Darwin’s evolutionary theory). Still, our brains (notably the amygdala) have not yet evolved to recognize this fight or flight response is not necessary to the extreme that it was when it was needed to fight or avoid predators.
To be consistently positive is unrealistic. And yet, some people possess a low tolerance when demonstrating other ‘vibes’ and emotions that are not deemed positive. It honestly annoys the hell out of me. And to be quite honest, I believe that if you have a mentality that excludes human beings from expressing other emotions other than ‘positive vibes,’ there must be something wrong with them. I am speculating here, but perhaps they are in denial about their struggles. Instead of confronting the issue, they avoid and distract themselves with ‘positive only vibes’ people to escape their problems. Maybe the issue is a lack of understanding and empathy towards people who express emotions that are not positive – they are unaware of how to handle the situation.
All this is just unhealthy and toxic. What needs to be done is:
a) recognize your flaws, character defects, and reasoning as to why you can only tolerate people with ‘positive vibes.’
b) where does a lack of genuine authenticity to fully express yourself and not judge others derive from?
c) if you are the recipient of a person/people that rejects your other emotions (if it is not ‘positive’), then ask yourself if you want to be with someone/people with limited emotional capacity.
Now, I LOVE people who demonstrate positive vibes. It’s contagious and uplifting. It can alter your mood in a good way (within reason). What I refuse to accept is that positive vibes are unrealistic in consistency. You are going to feel depressed sometimes, and life will challenge you with issues, but that does not mean that there is something wrong with you if other people cannot understand or empathize with you and believe in the mantra of ‘positive vibes only.’ It means this person/people have not developed a strong sense of self to cope with life’s adversities. And that’s okay; it’s not personal, even though it may feel like it is. You will feel better about yourself if you step back and recognize this. ‘Positive vibes only’ is bullshit, so you should never feel like you need to adhere to that ridiculously high standard.
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