I am constantly bombarded by the phrase “positive vibes only.” It’s everywhere, as if human beings are naturally wired to believe, think, feel, and act in a way that aligns with this notion, despite the vast complexity of human emotions and thoughts. The implication seems to be that if you don’t conform to this unrealistic standard, there must be something inherently wrong with you.
As social creatures, we crave connection and community. Evolutionarily speaking, belonging was essential for survival, early humans relied on their groups for protection and resources. Because of this, there’s an ingrained fear of rejection, of being ostracized for not fitting into the positive vibes onlymold. And while we no longer face the same primal threats that our ancestors did, our brains, particularly the amygdala, haven’t fully evolved past the instinctual fight-or-flight response. The fear of exclusion still feels like a threat to our well-being.
The expectation to be constantly positive is unrealistic. Yet, some people have an incredibly low tolerance for emotions that fall outside the “good vibes only” spectrum. Frankly, that irritates the hell out of me. If someone cannot accept the full range of human emotion, I suspect there’s something deeper at play. Perhaps they’re in denial about their own struggles, using relentless positivity as a coping mechanism to avoid confronting their issues. Or maybe they simply lack the emotional depth and empathy to sit with discomfort, whether their own or someone else’s.
This kind of mindset is toxic. It dismisses the full human experience and discourages authenticity. What needs to change is:
a) Recognizing your own emotional blind spots — why do you struggle to tolerate anything other than positive vibes?
b) Understanding where this aversion to authenticity comes from — why do you judge yourself or others for expressing real emotions?
c) If someone consistently rejects your emotions unless they’re positive, ask yourself: do you really want to be around people with such a limited emotional capacity?
To be clear, I love being around uplifting, positive people — it’s contagious, inspiring, and can genuinely improve your mood. But expecting positivity 24/7 is delusional. Everyone experiences moments of sadness, frustration, and struggle. That’s part of life. Feeling down doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, it simply means you’re human. If others can’t understand or empathize with that, it’s not a reflection of you; it’s a reflection of their own emotional limitations.
At the end of the day, “positive vibes only” is an illusion. You don’t need to live up to that impossible standard, nor should you try.