I was born and raised in the U.K., but after living in Los Angeles for several years, I’ve noticed something unsettling — I’ve slowly begun to normalize bad behavior from others. It’s a realization that feels both shocking and disappointing.
As social creatures, we are deeply influenced by the people around us. We unconsciously take cues from others on how to behave, particularly in social settings. However, not all behavior we experience is positive or healthy. Many people engage in manipulation, deceit, verbal aggression, or even physical intimidation. Over time, if we’re exposed to these behaviors often enough, we may start accepting them as normal. And that’s a dangerous trap to fall into.
Why Normalizing Bad Behavior is Harmful
- It Creates a Toxic Environment:
When we become desensitized to negative behavior, we risk rationalizing it — justifying mistreatment or even adapting to it. Over time, this leads to a toxic dynamic that’s hard to break. Worse, when bad behavior becomes normalized, people are less likely to intervene when others are mistreated. This silence allows unhealthy behaviors — whether aggression, manipulation, or dishonesty — to persist, affecting not only individuals but entire communities. - It Damages Mental Health
Consistent exposure to negative or abusive behavior takes a serious toll on mental well-being. Anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem can develop as a result. When mistreatment comes from someone significant — a partner, a friend, a family member — it’s even more damaging. Victims may internalize the behavior, believing they are somehow at fault, which can lead to long-term emotional scars. - It Erodes Trust in Relationships
Normalizing toxic behavior can quietly destroy relationships. Trust is the foundation of any meaningful connection, and when deceit, manipulation, or disrespect become routine, trust erodes. If someone constantly lies, their partner will begin to doubt them. If manipulation is a pattern among friends, resentment builds, leading to emotional distance. Eventually, relationships that should bring joy and support become sources of stress and pain.
The Difference Between Forgiveness and Normalization
It’s important to distinguish between forgiveness and normalization. Forgiveness is a vital part of any healthy relationship — it involves recognizing wrongdoing, holding the person accountable, and making a conscious decision to move forward. It does not mean excusing or tolerating harmful behavior.
Breaking the Cycle
Recognizing negative behavior for what it is — and refusing to accept it as normal — is the first step toward creating healthier relationships and communities. We must hold ourselves and others accountable. We must speak up when something feels wrong. And most importantly, we must remind ourselves that respect, honesty, and kindness should always be the standard, not the exception.
Bad behavior only thrives in environments that allow it. By choosing to reject it, we create space for better, healthier, and more fulfilling connections.