I was listening to ‘I was not a robot’ by Marina & the Diamonds the other day. It got me thinking about the metaphorical masks we wear to hide our emotional scars left by circumstance and experience. Our feelings and emotions have been largely ignored, and we are too afraid to bring them to light, especially since there has been an emphasis on wearing these ‘masks’ during the last two decades. Thanks to social media and how western society currently operates, we live in a somewhat narcissistic society. But we don’t believe that it is our fault that we possess these traits of narcissism. The subtle conditioning from social media platforms and our reliance on the rise in technology has slowly altered people’s thinking and behavior. The focus has moved from ‘us’ to the individual. The conditioning of comparison, competition, fear, and a desire to be adored and liked has been ingrained into our brains. From a Darwinian perspective, our primitive brain would understand that this is a possible survival tactic, so conforming to this new set of behavioral rules will establish one’s survival and evolution.
The idea that people must live a life where they only want to attract ‘positive vibes only’ has been another thing that has been gaining much attention. Many people have adopted this into their philosophy, believing it is a real achievement and one that must be sustained. Again, you are not a robot. The mere thought of anything contradicting this must mean something wrong with you. There isn’t. Like yin and yang, the human mind works in duality with each other. If there is the day, there is night. If it is good, there is evil. If there are positive feelings, there are negative feelings. The norm nowadays is to reject the negative emotions we all naturally possess and to focus on positivity. While this can be ideal in certain situations for a limited time, it is not the solution. It is a form of escapism. Negative feelings are portrayed with such dismay that it is only natural that people feel uncomfortable with feeling and expressing their true feelings. It contradicts this perfect illusion of what is accepted in our narcissistic society.
I often wished I was a robot because I felt guilty for feeling my feelings and expressing them—the lack of validation damages one’s self-esteem, self-worth, and sense of self. There have been times when I have asked myself what’s wrong with me. I SHOULDN’T feel this way, ‘shouldn’t’ being the operative word. Using verbs such as ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ is often used when someone feels torn between a desire to handle their emotions and express them and societal expectations. Any breach away from it and you’re considered abnormal and undesirable. Also, since you are a byproduct of your environment, it is worse if you don’t feel emotionally safe with where you’re at. So, we act like robots, forcing ourselves to bury our emotions for vanity, popularity, and survival.
But you don’t have to live a robotic life of forced smiles and selfies. The first step is to be mindful of our conditioning and how it affects our thinking and behavior. It is also helpful to know that societal rules are merely social constructs that adapt and change throughout time and history. They are not set in stone. And knowing that it’s healthy to accept that you have these emotions that surface now and then instead of burying them will help. Because guess what? You’re not a robot.
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